Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
