Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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