Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
