i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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