God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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