i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
