he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The feeling are messing with the penis
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
