Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
