im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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