im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
