I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
