Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
