whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
