the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
