PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
