Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
