whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
