you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
