Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
