S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
