There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
