Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
