Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
