shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
