I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
