bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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