I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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