Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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