Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
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