I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
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