nut hugger
so that wasnt chicken after all
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
