How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
