Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
