so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There's always time for handjobs
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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