I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
