Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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