I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I pour the whiskey from now on
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
