the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
