Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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