I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
