Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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