thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
