She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
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