Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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