Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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