I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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