I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My vagina is officially offended.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
