i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
