Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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