Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
