Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
