dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
