Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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